My Ponderings on a New Way to Walk

October 24, 2013 by admin
Filed under: Uncategorized 

Lately I have been thinking a lot of my walk with the Lord, and my journey. I have to say that I am very happy where I am right now. That doesn’t mean life is perfect, actually there are circumstances all around me that I would love to be able to change; but I do not have the power to do so. So I learn to accept and love instead of change.

In the last 4 or 5 years my husband and I have made some very serious changes in our lives. We decided to reinvent our Christian walk so that it lines up with our belief systems. You see the most painful reality in life is when you have strong beliefs, and are living a reality that does not live up to your beliefs. It becomes a walk of every day compromise, day in and day out, compromise; and for me this was leading to a dying in my heart. One day the Lord said to me something like “Ann this is NOT dying to self, it’s just dying, and I am not pleased with this. It’s not my plan for you. I have come to give you life and life with such abundance”.

So what are my values? One of my core values in life lines right up with the great commandment “love the Lord your God………. and love your neighbor as yourself. Ok so I do love God, so far so good. In addition God has given me a profound love for people. He just has, it’s supernatural. I can’t take any credit for that, I know where I have come from….and it’s not that.

One of the greatest driving forces in my life is the drive to find real meaningful relationships. I need to make a confession; I was very disappointed in my church experience in this regard. I often found that in the church culture I have experienced, the church was very busy doing the church stuff, even important kingdom activities, that relationships, strong relationships were the least important thing on the agenda. Since God has made me a certain way, very relational, even in the very satisfying times, of great kingdom advancement, I was left in this culture unsatisfied, and feeling unfulfilled. My needs just weren’t being met; and my heart was sad. Consequently, when everyone else was saying isn’t this fantastic; my heart was like….well, not really. It’s ok.

So after a season of real hard death; we made some very important changes. I needed my life to line up with what I believed. In my life, structure and church stuff, takes backseat to relationships. It doesn’t mean that we never do kingdom stuff, of course we do, but we will do these things with the people we have deep relationships with. We will also love to spend time with people for relationship sake, not just to “do the stuff of church”. We love for loves sake, and we have found that love is its own reward.

I have changed the lens on my camera and now my life looks different than it used to. In this I have found that it is also not perfect. I think I have a hungry heart, because I HAVE BEEN BUILT BY God to always want more. I still have the feeling that things could be better than they are. Even my new status quo gets dull to me quickly, and I will continually seek to make the changes that I feel are so necessary so live a full vibrant life with God.

My biggest challenge to those reading this would be “what changes do you need to make, with the Holy Spirit to walk a fulfilled life with God, and to feel fully satisfied in Him?” I pray that you will find the courage to make the changes.


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